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2014 AL East Spring Training Preview

The hardest division in the league, which includes last year’s world champs, looks to be just as intense again.  For that matter, it probably will be that way for the foreseeable future.  My favorite...

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Closer Report

Closer news, closer news... We need a musical about fantasy baseball, sorta like Newsies, but with a little Book of Mormon thrown in.  Perhaps a musical adventure of sonnets and mignonettes by Stephen...

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Yordano “The Arm” Ventura

Confession time! I'm looking at Craigslist's Missed Connections for a five feet, three inch starting pitcher that I saw last year on TV. I see someone on Missed Connections looking for a man that they...

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2014 Blue Jays Fantasy Baseball Preview

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their...

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Yanks Add Pineda To Tanaka For Kokomo Remix 2014

Tanaka, Pineda, ooh, I'm gonna take you. To Sabathia, Kuroda, ooh, I wanna own you. K-Rob, oh hold up now, I don't want Sabathia and I don't care if I ruined the song. So, Michael Pineda will be the...

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Closer Report

It was all fine and dandy and then Roldy Chapman had to go and jump in front of a speeding bullet.  It caused the first waiver wire riot of the year.  Trick is, who to add?  Everybody jumped on the...

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Opening Day — Step Back In Priority Queue, Loved Ones

One of the questions from Bernard Pivot by way of James Lipton is, "If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say at the pearly gates?" That's easy, "Play ball!" Today, butterflies fly north...

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K-Zar Danny The Not-So-Great

This should go down easier than Danny Salazar's last start, but it's still not going to be that easy to digest. You have a Tums handy? Good, take like seven of them. Don't worry, if they give you...

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Sergio Santos the Line and Walks the Plank

We’re through just over a month of baseball, and I’m sure there are more than a few players you’d like to see walk the plank right now, and Sergio Santos is no doubt up there on the Captain’s log as...

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Lester Ks 15 A’s Because Of Their Long-Vowel Pronunciation

On Saturday, Jon Lester threw a gem: 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 15 Ks. Such a gem that if that were a blood diamond, diplomats from Monrovia would be lined up in the streets of Liberia for a taste of...

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No Trouble For T-Roy

Troy Tulowitzki is hitting .408. I'm not even joking. Member those days when you'd open up the paper and look at the league leaders? You'd then rub your face with your ink-stained fingers and you'd...

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Shaw Shanks Cody Ascension

I mustache you a question, when you drafted, were you Axfording a hard time from your closer? Then you got it. John Axford finally was removed from the closer role. Francona said, "I've seen crap...

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Ambulance Chasers, Week 7: Plenty of Pain

As I do every week, I'll be covering all the bumps and bruises in the would of fantasy baseball.  It'd be nice if some of these guys could get their acts together, but hey, then I'd be out of a job....

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Kevin Throws Gaus, Man

In the past, I've gone out of my way to focus more on rookie hitters than pitchers, but after last year and living through season-after-season of diminishing offense, this is the world we live in....

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Closer Report: Week 7

This whole opening will be devoted to Trevor Rosenthal.  Why?  Because you are being put on notice, a notice to cease and desist your sucktitude.  Watching you makes me wanna renew my prescription card...

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Johnny Be Good

For all of today's news and lineup notes, all with a Canadian/Arizonian accent (if that's such a thing, I'm assuming it is unless they already deported it) here's Nick the Podcast Radio Host with...

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Closer Report: Week 9

There is something to be said about doing your job, and then saying "good job but the regular guy is back, and he's taking your job back."  Mark Melancon filled in swimmingly for the injured Jason...

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Closer Report, Week 11

The job in Tampa isn't as pretty as it used to be, as the team is super underachieving, and not in a superhero-footed pajamas kinda way. Joe Maddon looks like he needs an executive parachute, even...

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Closer Report, Week 13

It's just sad when you watch what should be a fluid situation turn out to be a fiery car wreck.  That's what the bullpen situation with the Angels is like.   Just awful to think about, watch...

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Closer Report, Week 15

In school they teach, or try to teach, in most of our cases for the ADHD crowd, the essentials of a good curriculum. Reading, Writing and arithmetic. We can apply that to the closer situation in...

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Closer Report, Week 17

Well, I guess enough was enough in Detroit.  It's always nice to waltz around with a security blanket like Linus, and have the ability to add a closer to back-up a closer that is making 10 mil a year....

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Closer Report, Week 19

It's way too quiet in here... I need a sniper to take out a closer or something. Maybe a team of trained Labrador assassins [Jay's Note: Everyone knows that Labradoodle assassins are better.], no one...

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Closer Report: Week 21

For some strange reason, I have the great Willie Nelson song in my head... On The Road again.  Why, you ask? Because I am out perusing the great country of ours and doing fantasy football's 32x32x32...

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If You Like Pen & Cole Nadas

In 1778, Benjamin Franklin pulled the first American flag from Betsy Ross's, uh, clutches and proclaimed a holiday to be called Labor Day in the then-resort city of Philadelphia. Since then there's...

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Closer Report: Week 23

This late in the year, Big Head Bochy minus his monsters goes and has to be all "I am changing it back to the way it used to be when all was being drafted and confidence in February Grey was at an...

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Cards 1st Base Looking For Hambones, Scruggs & Harmony

Recently, Matt Adams and his melon-ball shape has either been dreadful or benched for Daniel Descalso. The only time Descalso should be in front of Adams is in pictures, so the photographer can see...

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Oh, the Uehara! Koji Removed as Closer

Koji Uehara has been removed from the closer role temporarily after surrendering two homers in a blown save on Thursday night. This was just the latest in the series of unfortunate innings. In his last...

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Washington No Closer To Progress

After Rafael Soriano once again looked like his apologetic alter ego, Sorry-yo, Matt Williams said the Nats won't have a set closer. Let's backtrack to August 18th, it was a day after the fourth time...

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Closer Report: Week 25

Man do I hate the end of the year. People chasing saves are all into it, while the ones that are dead in the water couldn't care less. And let's be honest, they were prolly dead in the water all year...

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Sleeping in a Boxberger? It’s Not so Bad

Some people consider it a made up stat, I say hogwash or peeee-shaw.  For the people who play in the leagues where the stat matters, it matters.  That's about as devout as I can get since I had to sell...

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